Through all my blog reading, YouTube videos and self-examination I have come to realize that, although I have made progress and I am satisfied with what I am doing and trying to accomplish in my personal life/journey, there is some repetition or cycles of “behavior” that I’d like to eradicate/limit. I write on this blog and I try to be transparent without airing everything and I prefer to be positive and diplomatic despite some days feeling quite hopeless and anxious. My blog is really more of a journal so it’s comprised of my thoughts and emotions which lately have been more bleak. I haven’t gone back and re-read any of my posts although I tell myself that I should ~ and trash some ‘bad’ posts ~ so I don’t know the ratio of “good” to “bad” posts; posts that people would enjoy vs posts that are just about complaining. I got to thinking about this specifically because I read a post about dealing with negative people and because no one has all good days and we need to vent sometimes I wondered where on a scale of negative to positive I fall. Am I a negative person? Do I negatively impact people ‘around’ me (in person or people who read my blog)? Am I tedious to be around?
How we perceive ourselves is rarely how others perceive us therefore I can think that I am not a negative person but others may disagree. I normally don’t place a lot of value on what other people think because I, in my opinion, don’t believe a lot of people are open-minded and have good reasoning skills, they form opinions off-the-cuff, more judgments than a reasonable evaluation of someone. But if I’m honest with myself ~ and I try to be ~ I would agree that I do not really know how I am without keeping some kind of daily record so I can see a pattern of my thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Sometime in-between sleep and wakefulness I had some thoughts about chronicling my days in an organized way on my blog thereby giving it a theme and maybe even making it more interesting to read knowing there is a challenge and a destination: the exercise of being present and documenting how I feel and what I do about it in the course of a day. If I am trying to; overcome a cycle of negative self-talk, take control of my life, be healthier physically and emotionally (and spiritually, socially) then it would be helpful to chart a course and monitor how I am doing daily. It’s all about small steps, one after the other and, unavoidably some mistakes and missteps, not big demands on myself, just go from minute to minute with purpose. There will be some editing but I thought I’d start with some of the more obvious items that effect me and my future, some things that I need to change, revise, include or omit but having an outline will enable me to see where I need to invest more thought, time and effort.
Diet, Exercise, Attitude, Activities, Gratitude, Social
It is my intent to be in the moment for as much of my day as I can, to acknowledge my feelings and why, my thoughts and purposeful redirection and my goals and visualization and to take each moment as an opportunity to improve my life one minute at a time. This is the only way my intentions can become my habits.