#SoCS: fuzzy face

ColbySo, it’s another Saturday and this week I am not at work. I haven’t been on WP as much; I’m preoccupied, I guess. This morning I thought I’d check to see what’s happening in Bloglandia and saw the SoSC from Linda G. Hill posted: what ever is beside you when reading the  prompt. See this little cute, hairy (yes, hair) face? My little boy, Colby. Every morning that I am home and I sit on the couch he needs his cuddle time. The poor pups, they need a hair cut and the groomer is closed and my clippers don’t work well on their hair. I’m not sure why but I’m going to try again today or tomorrow. It’s sunny outside right now; the forecast said cloudy and possibly rain on ALL of my days off this week so I took advantage of it and walked the kids early, got to the grocery store to get some supplies (Surprise!…TP was on the shelves; not much though and a sign “one per customer” – dip shits should have thought of that two weeks ago when everyone was worried about what to wipe their asses with), dropped a few things off at my daughter’s house – on her porch, texted to say I left it. This weekend we decided that I should keep my distance from now on as I’m constantly involved with sick people (respiratory people) at work and, although I’ve been foresighted and fortunate so far, best not to take chances. My daughter and her husband are no longer working so I told them if they wanted to do some cleaning and yard work, I’d pay them. My daughter cleaned my bathroom (thoroughly) and my porch (which is my summer living room) and my sheets and made my bed while I was away. I don’t mind housecleaning but if I don’t have to spend my time off doing it, and pay her, works for everyone. So, while walking in the sunshine along the river this morning I gave some thought to what I will do this weekend instead of reading and otherwise wasting time. I got a much needed delay (something good always comes from something bad) in filing my taxes as I am sure I will have to pay some and I am dry of funds right now. Monday I will call the city to see if I can delay payment on my quarterly property taxes as well. I have ALWAYS paid on time so this will be a first. I start my new shifts this week; since we are short a night staff person, I proposed a mock schedule and the boss liked it…a lot. I am now going to work: one 12 hour shift per week (flipping a day then a night) and one 24 hour shift per week. My weekends will be Saturday day shift then Sunday 24 hr. shift. Thursdays will flip between day or night each week. I’m not exactly crazy about this arrangement but it fills all the holes without OT (which my boss likes) and it minimizes HIS hours per week so instead of five days, he works three…he loves that. Hopefully it’s temporary and hopefully NH won’t get an uncontrollable surge as other places have experienced. If we do, all our staff will be working at the biggest hospital nearby taking care of vent patients. I’m not looking forward to it BUT, if it happens, I will use it as a learning experience and hope something good comes from it. Meanwhile…in anticipation of this happening, I have work around my home to do and I have financial/paperwork stuff to gather in the event that …well, just incase. Hang in there fellow bloggers and, as always, stay safe!

#SoCS: wire

socs-badge-2019-2020Wire, wire,….wire. Hmm. Over the wire we hear constant news about ‘rona’, the virus that’s got many cleaning out the aisles (toilet paper? Really?) like they’re stocking a bunker. Meanwhile, I feel wired lately because spring does that for me: more sun, a little warmer temperatures and the spring-cleaning bug takes hold.

#SoCS: wire

Pep talks; I love them

I honestly can not comprehend where ‘time’ goes! It seems to just evaporate…everyday, more time has gone, passed, moved on and I observe that I don’t accomplish much. I feel that I understand the ‘confusion’ with the elderly; you think you just did laundry yesterday but then, upon some concentrated reflection, you realize that, no, that was five days ago. I can see myself completely losing track of time, forgetting to take meds or take the trash out on trash day or getting the dog to the vet because I think that’s next week, but, nope, the appointment was yesterday. I suppose some of this comes from being (mostly) alone…there is no one there to bounce thoughts off, no one to say, hey, why is there a load of damp, mildew-y clothes in the washer? I have started keeping a very short list of things I do each day in my daily calendar so I can slow time down slightly by recording what I do with/during it’s passing. It also helps me recall a certain day if I have some clues.

On another note: I have been feeling glorious lately; the sun has been shining, it’s cold but not freeze-your-face cold and I’ve been delving (back) into listening to some podcasts, etc. that help me feel good, inspired, hopeful, and centered (and/or validated). Let me say that not giving any of my time/attention to any social media, “news” or other forms of ‘information’, although it has genuinely helped me emotionally (therefore, physically), but I miss out on some things that are going on. Example: I didn’t know Oprah was doing a 2020 tour with the intention of promoting health, wellness, etc. I tuned into a few of her videos/podcasts with celebrity guests for a delightful and surprising hour of discourse about health and wellness and empowerment, etc. I was so impressed with Tracee (Joy) Ellis Ross that I’ve listened to it back to back three times. I had never heard the name, didn’t know who she was until I saw her (You Tube) and I had no idea she is one of Diana Ross’ children. I’m not impressed with any of that – I’m just stating how ‘in the dark’ I am when it comes to celebrities or ‘current’ social gossip/tabloid crap. I loved WHAT she had to say. Period. The same is true of Oprah; not a fan but I find that often what she is saying (or her guests are saying) resonates with me and makes me feel good about ME. I can’t explain it – it just is.

What spoke to me loud and clear when Ms. Ross was speaking is “living my own life” and changing the narrative and the story about what women can and can’t do and who or what they ‘get’ to be. Ms. Ross, as she states, is “choicefully single. Happily, gloriously single” and that we, still in 2020, don’t get it when women chose to be single or childless because these women choose to live their own lives, not the lives that our culture believes women – not only should live, but they should WANT to live these lives that are part of a patriarchal map. And this is underscored by the annual Bloomberg analysis that states, at the current ‘glacial’ pace measuring factors such as labor-force, education, political representation, healthcare, corporate leadership, and poverty, women won’t gain gender parity in Congress until 2108. …2108 …slightly less than ANOTHER 100 YEARS. That’s a stunning figure: another one-hundred-years before women will take their place in society as equals.

Okay, I know there’s a lot in the ‘news’/media about equality, etc. Even I tire of hearing it all. But…we, as a culture, nation, won’t make any progress if we don’t beat that drum until it’s done. Out of sight, out of mind. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. It cannot be ‘old news’ when it’s a current problem. So, yes, I enjoy – no I thrive when I hear these stories from other women (and men: Dwain, the rock, Johnson was the only male who was interviewed) about their challenges and awakenings and choices and dreams. And I appreciate Oprah and others for getting out there and using their voice for the rest of us who, although we have voices, they are small and no one hears us.

This post was brought to you by: Linda G. Hill’s #SoCS: FIGURE.

 

the worst animal noise

My SoCS from Linda G. Hill is going to start with me whining about my arm (I’m an animal > mammal), it’s the left one, the one that had some nodes removed. I’ve been experiencing increasing ‘discomfort’ in the form of throbbing…left side of my chest, through the armpit, and down the arm – today, down toward my wrist. I know this is due to the missing lymph nodes and, probably, some lymphedema is going on…ugh. Everyday…and sometimes throughout the day, I do the lymph-massage to alleviate/prevent this from happening but I seem to notice it more on work days. Not sure why that is; I’m more busy at work so I would think the working muscles (be what they are) would make those days less prone to the ache. I do have a “sleeve” that I stopped wearing, with MD permission – or more like, she told me to stop because I told her that I’d been wearing it predominately at work and those were the worst days. Now, sleeveless makes no difference. I have an early March appointment so I’ll bring it up..and I’m sure I’ll have to make a PT appointment to measure my arms. Again…ugh.

Other animal noises are my dogs barking when they have done their business and don’t want to wait in the single-digit numbered temperature to come back in. Oh, and geese flying over…I don’t know why but I love them…to hear them “HONK” and I run outside to see if I can see them pass over in their tell-tale V. I always feel bad for stragglers and those tiny flocks with only, like, five geese.

And morning birds…particularly in the summer – dang they are loud, especially when I don’t want to be woke early. Otherwise, I do like all their ‘peeping’ when they come to the feeder.

Squirrels! They used to annoy me chattering away while I tried to peacefully lounge in my tub. I had – HAD – so many oak trees that I must have had dozens and dozens gathered in my back yard. I had many trees cut down (not because of the pesky, noisy squirrels) and now it’s much quieter…they still chatter but it’s not deafening.

The other animal noises that I really don’t like are mammals that push lawn mowers, snow-blowers, leaf-blowers, horn-blowers and shouting into their phones as they pass by my house. I don’t like the incessant sounds of cars and trucks either.

Of all the animal noises noted above, humans are the loudest and most obnoxious animals on the planet. The noise we create, not unlike everything else we create, is appropriately called “pollution”.

always packed and ready

Oh, what to write, what to write? I’m at work and it’s the first I’ve been able to sit in five hours – not complaining – but that’s unusual for me/here. I’ve noticed all morning that my left upper arm & pit and left side of my chest is ‘achey’ today and I keep placing my arm up over and across the top of my head while I massage (lymph nodes) down my arm, pit, and lateral chest to accomplish what I presume is necessary – assist the lymphatic system. No one has, not one time, looked at me (oddly) nor inquired as to what I’m doing. I guess they either have assumed correctly or don’t care or it’s not as a unique thing to do as I suspect. Either way, I do not care, I just want to damn ache to go away.

I almost always check out the local newspaper while I’m at work, time allowing. I don’t read much of it unless I’m curious; like today I read the article about Trump post acquittal (which I didn’t know about but I am also not at all surprised) and then quickly scanned the article about the Vermont (R) governor praising Mitt Romney for having the courage and integrity to do his job (all my words but that was the gist) and stating that he, Phil Scott, didn’t/doesn’t think Trump is fit for office. I was surprised. That’s as far as I got during my wait.

It’s a beautiful sunny but cold (I love it) day here and I am sick of the sun shining on my work days while simultaneously grateful I didn’t have to commute to work during the winter storm (snow, sleet, rain, sleet – ). I packed my duffle, prepared to spend the night – per my usual – when I discovered this morning that I need to return home tonight for the pets – so I’ll return home, unpack, sleep in my own bed and drive back in tomorrow. That’s okay…I am almost finished with one audio book and I have another uploaded to start…don’t mind the trip at all.

I hope the day forward is more moderate – not such a jam-packed schedule – maybe I’ll be able to step outside for some fresh, clean, cold winter air. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

#SoCS: (un)pack

socs-badge-2019-2020

Re-choose

Wow! “Choices” is a loaded word. My brain is buzzing and I am going to attempt to write in a stream of consciousness (slowly) here because I could spend a long time deciding where to go with this.

Each day we make thousands of decisions, sometimes with deliberateness but most times without thought, based from innumerable options or limited ones. All of our choices, big or small, redirect our life’s path and many times we have regrets about the choices we’ve made and often there is no ‘do over’ – we must continue on with any/all repercussions. Sometimes the consequences are hard to bear and can cast a long, dark shadow over our lives….if we let it.

But we also have the prerogative to choose how we feel: guilty, angry, happy, shame, empowered, defiant, resilient, and so on. The impulse that we often tell ourselves and others is that we can’t control how we feel but I believe that frequently we are deceiving ourselves and, consciously or otherwise, limiting our own happiness and growth. I think, if we decide to do it, we can retrain our brain, beat a new neural pathway that is more positive, forgiving (of ourselves mostly), energizing, and peaceful; that takes effort, persistence, and time – like giving up a bad habit but the benefits are worth it.

One of the hardest choices I’ve made is to try (it’s an ongoing process) to change my attitude or, as I prefer to say: reframe my perspective. It’s one of the reasons I blog: I am documenting my thoughts and feelings, rereading/re-examining, exposing myself figuratively to anyone and opening myself up to criticisms and commentary. The art of blogging therapy is transparency, self-evaluation, and growth and WP is a blogger’s asset because the community is supportive and bloggers from all over the world provide varied viewpoints in their posts and comments.

The decision to return to a more routine posting is because I like this medium for self-expression and the consistency keeps me focused on my day, activities (a diary) and, to a small degree, my self-awareness because I’m going to be ‘baring all’ at some point in my writing. And I appreciate the writing of others who also share their personal lives including all the warts because it’s a reminder that we are all the same. Also, I just like to sit on my ass and read and write too.

socs-badge-2019-2020 #SoCS: choices

I’m special; don’t look at me.

Okay, the title is snarky but it got your attention.

A photo/story exhibition…..” with scheduled “…reception and panel discussion“… the purpose of which…”is to validate the experiences of people of color and value their contributions to the community.”

The above is quoted from a local newspaper and the article, to put it succinctly, brings to the attention of the predominately white community the experiences of people of varying ethnicity. I have not (yet) been to the exhibition which, unfortunately the article appeared today, the 25th, lasts only until the end of the month but it has piqued my curiosity.

*My knee jerk reaction, however, was…people always want to be ‘treated the same’ or to not be treated ‘any differently,’ don’t want to be singled-out, or don’t want to be treated with prejudice or bias, or discrimination and yet….simultaneously these same people (and it doesn’t matter who they are; I am not referring only to ethnicity) vie to be ‘recognized’ for their unique attributes.

I makes my head spin.

I am a we-are-all-human-beings kind of person. I don’t need – nor do I want – to have to learn all about other peoples’ religion, culture, race, traditions, etc., etc. I realize this probably, to some people, makes me appear ignorant and unwilling to ‘change’ and be accepting of other people. So I’ll reiterate:

WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS

I recognize that other people have different skin color, eye color, beliefs, customs, education, strengths, weaknesses, ambitions, parents, talents, so on and so forth but, as far as I am concerned, I’ll learn about YOU the person as we get to know EACH OTHER. I am not all that I appear on the outside either and yet my vanilla makes me, apparently to some, indifferent, shallow and bland (which may be true but still…judgy).

Having said all that…I do want to see the exhibition mainly because it sounds like art…and we are all a work of art – even the vanilla people.

#FOWC: ethnicity

I don’t answer calls from anyone I don’t know (have in my contacts)

#SoCS