inheritance is for the wealthy

I’m feeling underappreciated today; no particular reason really. I found out that a position I’d applied for has been filled so that job is now off the table and my daughter will be coming home Thursday without the baby so I’ve been cleaning and doing laundry (baby clothes).

I know that life for a few weeks will be hectic and stressful because the ‘older brother’ is not going to adjust well to no longer being the sole recipient of anyone’s attention (and he’s prone to some tantrums and yelling already) and my daughter is a ‘control freak’ (her words – kinda) and is not very patient nor tolerant of other’s lack of meeting her high standards (in particular, her husband) plus the in-laws will visit more often to ‘see the baby’ or give brother extra attention so he doesn’t feel so bad and I have to bite my tongue and make allowances for oddities. All this takes place in a house that is now a little smaller with the extra person and all her accoutrements but, more importantly, still my house where I still live but do not exert much influence.

Oh, and I had an oil change/tire rotation today and the ‘garage’ found things that need to be done to the tune of >$1,100.00. Those are shelved for now.

So the combination of being the ‘helper’ (housecleaner, launderer, grocery shopper, and filler-In-er for other small things) but not being included in many day-to-day conversations and ‘plans’ in addition to now not having the job that I was planning on (so now I am threshing out other options in my mind) using to get-away and would have been depending on for income….well, I feel like a sheet hanging out in the wind right now.

I am not implying that I have no say in what goes on but I try to not interfere with the day-to-day lives of the married couple/family unless it directly involves me but I’m not a piece of furniture either. The commotion and stress does get to me. I’ve been doing what I can because I can and I do want to but I am ready to get a job and get back to my life. Hence, being a little bummed right now.

I short-term plan is to find work which will involve ‘travel’ to another location and in the meantime get out of the house as much as possible to avoid the chaos. My daughter will have to figure out how to mother two children the same way most of us did; trial and error.

What all this has to do with inheritance? I wish I had an inheritance and I sometimes think that I will not be able to leave my children anything for inheritance. I sometimes hope that they will appreciate what I have done for them in their lives while I am living because it is to these children that I’ve spent my time, energy and money.

Daily Prompt: inheritance

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December 12: daring do

Tell us about the time you rescued someone else (person or animal) from a dangerous situation. What happened? How did you prevail?

I’m a respiratory therapist by profession so having “rescued” someone – many someones – over my professional life is innumerable. The article in the hyperlink I’ve provided I think is more useful to the general public than any story I can tell about saving someone’s life because it’s an example of true power and it’s a power that many have and can use to benefit many people each day.

I responded once to a prompt about being a ‘hero’ or maybe it was a comment I left on someone’s post, I don’t remember but the gist of my point was that there are everyday ‘heros’ that never receive any pat on the back, and adulation, any ‘reward’ for saving someone’s life or, sometimes, from keeping them from falling into despair and taking their own life.

I’m a cheerleader for the underdog, the people who make differences each day in the life or lives of other people and they themselves don’t even know the effect they have on someone’s life or future. I try to remember that as I go about my own life out in public, I try to think that things are not always how they appear on the outside, at a glance, to those of use busy with our own lives and our inner dialogues.

Somedays I feel my loneliness more than other days. I found the following ‘article’ very positive and it reinforced my belief/hope that there are truly good people out there and there are people just searching for a connection to another human being so we don’t feel so alone in an overcrowded, busy world. In theory, people are energy and that energy can be combined (synergy) to make changes in our world; the more people put their energy and effort into doing good, the more that positive energy will spread and, thus, more good will be done. Perhaps we live in a time, a ‘tipping point’ in time, if we all focus on doing more for each other.

Never underestimate the power you hold as ONE PERSON to save the life of another.

365 Days of Writing Prompts

Daily Prompt: theory

December 11: my precious

My precious

Who is the person in your life who can do no wrong? Describe this person and tell us why you hold them in such high esteem.

At 9:52 this morning, this bundle was delivered into our family and she is the only person right now who can do ‘no wrong’ for obvious reasons. The only other person that  ‘can do no wrong’ is my 5 year old grandson because he is a young child and he is learning and sometimes children learn by doing or maybe saying a “wrong” thing.

Otherwise, I have no one that I hold in such high esteem so as to blind me to their human imperfections. The reason for this is because I have not had any ‘role models’ or such loyal and supportive friends/family that create that kind of bond in the first place – which then leads me to be more pragmatic and aware of the faults of everyone.

365 Days of Writing Prompts

There is nothing elegant, IMHO, about childbirth itself but there is an elegance in the creation of another human being – so miraculous.

Daily Prompt: elegance

degrees of involvement, expression & responsibility

The last three posts I’ve made were of heavier content than my usual and I’m still digesting my own words – I don’t know if this is “normal” or not; publishing personal thoughts or feelings and then thinking about the ripple effect and the compulsion to put it out there in the murky and hazardous ether. I try to keep a cool head and civil tongue but maintain my own voice/identity so there’ll be some sarcasm and swearing on occasion. I try not to judge but that is really hard regarding some topics – thinking on that now, I am not even sure it should be called “judging” because we all know hate, greed, selfish and stupid exist and we can all recongnise it when we see it.

Anyway, I got to thinking during the night when I woke off and on about my posts about technology and discrimination and how we all get sucked into the world conversation and current affairs whether we want to or not, it seems. It’s so easy to get on a device, read (or maybe just glance at a heading and scan the content) and then react by clicking on keys and ‘saying’ something about how we feel or what we think; throw ourselves right into the mob. Some just blow off whatever comes to mind and others give some thought before posting and others, if they have an inside track such as experience or specific knowledge, add their comments to educate. There’s nothing wrong with voicing an opinion regardless of content or motive – we are all free to read or skip it if we don’t like it.

My comment on FB was on a post-article that I did not read (because I wasn’t interested) but FB directed me (via Facebook algorithms) to a comment by a “friend” and it was this comment to which I <reply> replied. I got to thinking about my own reaction in this whole process and how we all get involved. The ‘friend’s’ comment was general and I responded in kind but then I went on to write my blog post using this ‘friend’s’ comment much like a “prompt”: I took the question about refusing service to specific customers based on personal preferences and elaborated. What has bothered me about this process is that, unwittingly, I based my ‘argument’ on the presumption that the cake maker refused service to a couple out of bigotry even though I theorized throughout my post in generalities. I have no knowledge about this story other than the (over-simplified) headline which indicates discrimination and I try not to believe everything I read as if it’s all black and white. We all know there are nuances to everything.

I went back and read my post and made some spelling or clarification edits but otherwise it remains unchanged. I have mixed feelings sometimes about posting or keeping them up once I’ve given more thought to the post. I’m glad we can speak our peace, express ourselves and join in or, in some cases, instigate a conversation or argument. I think what I’d like to see are exchanges that are divergent and contrasting but with less vitriol, less assumptions. Conversations about differing opinions or experiences are very helpful in understanding a wider concept but not when it’s emotionally charged and accusatory.

Since I have not read about this cake fiasco and I probably won’t I’m going to play the Devil’s advocate here briefly and question why the baker refused the couple the cake. We can assume, as I did, that it’s because the couple is gay but what if it isn’t? What if the couple requested something particular, some decoration that the baker found in bad taste (when I think on this I am reminded of a cake that I’d seen of a vagina with a doll head coming out. Now…if I am a baker and a potential client asked me for this I am not sure I’d want this affiliated with my business – and you know photos will be taken and dispersed with the business name dragged along – IMHO – so what would I do? Fortunately I’m not in the predicament). Does this person have the right to refuse?

See how murky and nuanced this gets? My other thought is; why wouldn’t the couple just go somewhere else?

I know, I know. Read the article! I don’t want to – it’s one story in thousands of stories about rights and discrimination and I just don’t need to read it. This has merely been an exercise for me to imagine both sides and how complicated something seemingly simple can really be – and then we, the public, all get in the mix with our minimal accurate knowledge and personal experiences and emotional baggage and get outraged and blow it up into a national problem.

Ugh.

Daily Prompt: degree

I won’t varnish the truth

superficial polish or external show, especially to conceal some defect or inadequacy

“Varnish” … I’ve been listening to ‘news’ this morning so varnish is a loaded word prompt for me right now and, as I’ve mentioned before, I try not to dip into the political pool but it’s more an ocean now – harder to find the sturdy earth beneath my feet. I don’t need to elaborate on any one specific item in the news that can be used with the word varnish as defined above – anyone can regarding: ‘truth’, ‘patriotism’, ‘equality’, ‘justice’, ‘christianity’, ‘democracy’, ‘united states’, ‘service’, ‘character’, ‘law’ and on and on. If I dwell on what’s going on in the world, specifically politics, I can feel various ‘negative’ emotions: anger, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, hatred, vengeance – so after hearing/reading news, I have to keep my mind absorbed in something else that is useful or positive or even just reading for a break in thinking or feeling at all.

I’ve shared this with no one – except here, now – I’ve felt compelled in the last few weeks to read the Bible and have been reading several ‘chapters’/pages everyday. Some history: about 20 years I met someone who encouraged me to read the Bible and I did, trying to find answers, ultimately becoming more agnostic, if not atheist. I know all the judgments and commentary regarding religion, faith, Christianity – hell, I’ve uttered my own. I utilize a amalgamation of scripture and faith (not religion) with a healthy dose of reasoning or intelligence. I acknowledge what I don’t know and can’t know and what I do know. The Bible has been ‘around’ for about 3500 years and that’s a long time for a fake book (not inspired by God) to exist so there is possibly some truth within its pages regarding God’s plan even if I cannot quite believe that it’s entirely His inspired Word, penned by men with the Holy Spirit. However, it’s also not out of the realm of possibilities for me to believe that ‘organized’ religion has preserved the Bible to use as a tool as it’s greatest claim to be God’s ‘servant’ on earth and, thus, command the obedience of all the souls who fall victim to the snares of religion. I prefer to believe that there is a Grand Design for what I see going on around me, that this is all going to lead to some better future but I can reason, too, that mankind has existed in the same mix of hate and love for thousands of years so, therefore, anticipating changed based on prophecy seems awfully desperate.

Reading the Bible, acknowledging what It has to offer and combining some reasoning (still aware of my own limitations) allows me to have some hope with minimal gullibility. I can believe that this mess we have in the world will ultimately all work out for the better while simultaneously knowing that if it doesn’t (in my lifetime) nothing has been lost that wouldn’t have been lost anyway. We are all destined to die – as that is the life-cycle – and if I should perish sooner or later, it matters not, since that’s my expectation of life. If the Great Tribulation, Armageddon, the Second-Coming-of-Christ or whatever those of any faith chose to call God’s Plan happens between now and before I die, then I shan’t be surprised by that either.

I don’t know what has prompted me to re-read the Bible. I could say that it’s the state of affairs in this world but I personally have not be a person who has been optimistic about the future, personally or worldly, in my lifetime and I’ve plodded along without the compulsion to seek inspiration or find faith. But I will say that I look foreward each day to doing some reading of the scriptures and I will also say that I feel better for doing it although I cannot say why nor can I say that I have complete faith in a God, a Plan or Salvation. I just know that right now, at this time, it feels right.

Daily Prompt: varnish

can you count the number of times you’ve been on your phone in one day?

I like listening to public radio especially the TED Radio Hour. Yesterday I listen to the beginning of October 13 TED Radio Hour with Guy Raz while walking my dogs. The first part of the program was about technology – specifially how a few genius minds in Silicon Valley control how we now behave. It sounds unlikely but it was a very logically discussed example of how our technology, specifically our smart phones, now control what we do with much of our time. It went beyond the argument about “everyone’s so attached to their phones” and “no one talks to each other anymore” – it was really about the technology/science of how it is we become ensnared in technology itself and gorge ourselves with social media. If anyone has 17 minutes of free time – and that’s not a pun but it sure could be one – this TED talk by Tristan Harris or you can go to this npr site and listen to the TED Radio Hour program for October 13 titled “Manipulation” which is comprised of parts of Tristan Harris’ talk among other interviews for 50:17 minutes.

Daily Prompt: gorge