“winsome”: sweetly or innocently charming; winning; engaging
There is nothing sweetly…charming about me. First of all, I don’t have ‘the look’ for it; I’m “tall for a woman,” middle-aged & somewhat ‘soft’ now and I have a rather ‘man-ish’ appearance (the 1/4″ clipped salt & pepper “hair-style” doesn’t help) with a large, lumpy face. I couldn’t pull off winsome if a sniper had me in his crosshairs. My best ‘nice with a smile’ must come off as grotesque at best since the response from people is typically (but not always) a huff, sneer or short shake of the head…and that’s the benign response. Attractive people have NO IDEA how much easier they have it in this world of superficial and judgmental asses.
But…I don’t let that get me down and with the aid of YouTube’s plethora of inspirations/motivational talks/videos, each day I think “happy thoughts” and put on my “positive attitude” like a coat and go out into the bad world knowing I’m not alone — some people are worse off and many are better off but we’re all in the same boat, rowing toward the same end. I’m becoming less “effected” by the attitude of others and more focused on how I can change my tiny part of the universe by just trying harder to be a better person despite all.
I am grateful for those (free) videos; a daily dose of a few of those keep me from free-falling into despair. Last night I watched about 8 of them: motivational ones so I could go to bed feeling better, a little more recharged and I woke this morning ready to get up and ‘face the day’ (I didn’t DO what I’d intended: -1* with windchill outside of -40, I did not go on my walk which is how I wanted to start my day) and roll with the punches. I’m also grateful it’s the weekend so I can take a little break from having to think about a job.