Memories have proven to be an interesting ‘science’ because of faulty memories, false memories or just the fact that two people witnessing the same event don’t recall it the same way.
I’ve realized one thing about personal memories: the more you relay a memory, the more firm it is in your mind, the easier it is to recall. I’ve always chastised myself for not being able to remember anything (my brother claims this also but our sister can recall ‘everything’) but I think I realized that there are multiple reasons for that and one is that I don’t talk about myself – and more rarely share memories. Sometimes I think sometimes that it is sad that I don’t really have memories of my childhood but more importantly, my children’s childhoods – the memories I have are so stark and I think this reveals a loneliness about me. I also note in my mother that we only talk about the present and when it comes to talking about history we both are very vague and indifferent to what we don’t remember. I see myself becoming her.
If you keep a diary/journal it may help you remember but if you share things about your life with others more frequently and really pay attention to the detail and make connections with others, your life – the memories – can be more solid in your mind. Trust me, not having memories about your life or the lives of people you care about is like having your past erased from your present – it feels like you didn’t exist before today or last week or last month.