Yesterday was filled with “should” (or today has some ‘should have’): it was a downpour of rain most of the day and now I realize I should have taken a photo of that (to use here) and I sat most of the day with my laptop within reach. My intent on that rainy day was to do some much needed sewing. I did not. I pacify myself with that decision based on the fact that I need matching thread to do my top-stitching on my quilt, which is true. I could have gotten off my a$$ and found some other pieces to put together but that would get me out of my “I am going to take one UFO at a time and finish it before I start on another” pattern and I didn’t want more sewing clutter out than already exists. I was pretty content watching Netflix or writing all day. Here’s the thing: I always have an internal conflict with ‘doing nothing’ especially now that I am older. There are not many days left (I feel) and “wasting” one doing nothing doesn’t seem “smart”. But really, all that just might be our cultural (more accurately, what used to be -when i was growing up- our cultural) idea of being industrious or not lazy. So I fight with myself about doing nothing each time and I never really learn that either it’s okay to squander a day or to retrain myself to make the most of each day.