inheritance is for the wealthy

I’m feeling underappreciated today; no particular reason really. I found out that a position I’d applied for has been filled so that job is now off the table and my daughter will be coming home Thursday without the baby so I’ve been cleaning and doing laundry (baby clothes).

I know that life for a few weeks will be hectic and stressful because the ‘older brother’ is not going to adjust well to no longer being the sole recipient of anyone’s attention (and he’s prone to some tantrums and yelling already) and my daughter is a ‘control freak’ (her words – kinda) and is not very patient nor tolerant of other’s lack of meeting her high standards (in particular, her husband) plus the in-laws will visit more often to ‘see the baby’ or give brother extra attention so he doesn’t feel so bad and I have to bite my tongue and make allowances for oddities. All this takes place in a house that is now a little smaller with the extra person and all her accoutrements but, more importantly, still my house where I still live but do not exert much influence.

Oh, and I had an oil change/tire rotation today and the ‘garage’ found things that need to be done to the tune of >$1,100.00. Those are shelved for now.

So the combination of being the ‘helper’ (housecleaner, launderer, grocery shopper, and filler-In-er for other small things) but not being included in many day-to-day conversations and ‘plans’ in addition to now not having the job that I was planning on (so now I am threshing out other options in my mind) using to get-away and would have been depending on for income….well, I feel like a sheet hanging out in the wind right now.

I am not implying that I have no say in what goes on but I try to not interfere with the day-to-day lives of the married couple/family unless it directly involves me but I’m not a piece of furniture either. The commotion and stress does get to me. I’ve been doing what I can because I can and I do want to but I am ready to get a job and get back to my life. Hence, being a little bummed right now.

I short-term plan is to find work which will involve ‘travel’ to another location and in the meantime get out of the house as much as possible to avoid the chaos. My daughter will have to figure out how to mother two children the same way most of us did; trial and error.

What all this has to do with inheritance? I wish I had an inheritance and I sometimes think that I will not be able to leave my children anything for inheritance. I sometimes hope that they will appreciate what I have done for them in their lives while I am living because it is to these children that I’ve spent my time, energy and money.

Daily Prompt: inheritance

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December 12: daring do

Tell us about the time you rescued someone else (person or animal) from a dangerous situation. What happened? How did you prevail?

I’m a respiratory therapist by profession so having “rescued” someone – many someones – over my professional life is innumerable. The article in the hyperlink I’ve provided I think is more useful to the general public than any story I can tell about saving someone’s life because it’s an example of true power and it’s a power that many have and can use to benefit many people each day.

I responded once to a prompt about being a ‘hero’ or maybe it was a comment I left on someone’s post, I don’t remember but the gist of my point was that there are everyday ‘heros’ that never receive any pat on the back, and adulation, any ‘reward’ for saving someone’s life or, sometimes, from keeping them from falling into despair and taking their own life.

I’m a cheerleader for the underdog, the people who make differences each day in the life or lives of other people and they themselves don’t even know the effect they have on someone’s life or future. I try to remember that as I go about my own life out in public, I try to think that things are not always how they appear on the outside, at a glance, to those of use busy with our own lives and our inner dialogues.

Somedays I feel my loneliness more than other days. I found the following ‘article’ very positive and it reinforced my belief/hope that there are truly good people out there and there are people just searching for a connection to another human being so we don’t feel so alone in an overcrowded, busy world. In theory, people are energy and that energy can be combined (synergy) to make changes in our world; the more people put their energy and effort into doing good, the more that positive energy will spread and, thus, more good will be done. Perhaps we live in a time, a ‘tipping point’ in time, if we all focus on doing more for each other.

Never underestimate the power you hold as ONE PERSON to save the life of another.

365 Days of Writing Prompts

Daily Prompt: theory

December 11: my precious

My precious

Who is the person in your life who can do no wrong? Describe this person and tell us why you hold them in such high esteem.

At 9:52 this morning, this bundle was delivered into our family and she is the only person right now who can do ‘no wrong’ for obvious reasons. The only other person that  ‘can do no wrong’ is my 5 year old grandson because he is a young child and he is learning and sometimes children learn by doing or maybe saying a “wrong” thing.

Otherwise, I have no one that I hold in such high esteem so as to blind me to their human imperfections. The reason for this is because I have not had any ‘role models’ or such loyal and supportive friends/family that create that kind of bond in the first place – which then leads me to be more pragmatic and aware of the faults of everyone.

365 Days of Writing Prompts

There is nothing elegant, IMHO, about childbirth itself but there is an elegance in the creation of another human being – so miraculous.

Daily Prompt: elegance

December 10: unexpected

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Unexpectedly, you lose your job. (Or a loved one. Or some- thing or someone important to you.) What do you do next?

Speculating on what I’d do if I lost something/one important to me is dicey – how would I know? But, following along with the prompt and knowing me – as I do – I would calculate the loss and, eventually, try to find the silver lining. That sounds kind of harsh if the loss is a loved one but we all have to find something positive to cling to in order to be able to continue living despite the loss. And, it’s easier said than done.

I’m currently unemployed and, despite the fact that I did quit my last job with full knowledge that getting another one would be a challenge, have been perusing job listings for months. This has been combined with other personal challenges so, right now, not working has worked out to my advantage and that is the silver lining: I could be more anxious and /or depressed about it, about what I will do when my savings run out but it’s much more beneficial to look at how this is a positive instead of just a negative. I also try to believe that it will all work out but that means that I have to keep my mind open to other options that are less than ideal but potentially might be the reality.

I’ve come to realize, as difficult as it’s been, that taking risks is how we grow but it’s not without some negative consequences too. Also, sometimes what seems like a setback is an opportunity. If we view everything that happens in our lives an opportunity to grow and experience life more fully, whether it’s a good job = appreciating gratitude or a ‘challenge’ (such as a car accident) = developing more patience, self-control and experiencing less pleasant but wider exposure to life’s ups & downs. It’s all about life and the cycle we all experience.

I was listening to an NPR program/TED talk that included a neuroscientist’s personal experience of a stroke (she appreciated the irony) and despite the long recovery and the lingering changes in her life now, she said she was glad it happened. Obviously she has used her first-hand information in her career but she isn’t the first person that I’ve heard/known to take a devastating misfortune and turn it into an opportunity for learning, even if it’s “just” to gain some perspective on life, learn empathy – both of which are not small things.

Because I’ve worked in hospitals and because I have a preference for helpful and informative books, radio & TV, I’ve been self-educating for many years the art of learning to live and turning a bad situation into something useful. Many people cannot overcome bad things that happen to them (or loved ones) and be able to figure out how to continue to live their lives without feeling angry, guilty, spiteful or depressed. All those feelings are natural but we all should realize that ‘loss’ is a part of life for all of us and we need to adjust our perspectives to be able to absorb loss but still enjoy/appreciate life. We come into the world with nothing and we leave with nothing – everything else in between is all part of the experience of our individual journey and how and what we learn and do with it.

365 Days of Writing Prompts

 

applique

socs-badge-2017-18-e1503097084778  #SoCS: “…liqu…”

These photos are not mine, they are taken from a book (unfortunately I do not have the title/author but when I get the info I’ll edit) that belongs to a sewing friend. I just loved these ideas for appliqué and…someday…I might even make them. Hand-work is very relaxing for me. I enjoy it but finding the time to sit long enough to get projects done is harder.

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degrees of involvement, expression & responsibility

The last three posts I’ve made were of heavier content than my usual and I’m still digesting my own words – I don’t know if this is “normal” or not; publishing personal thoughts or feelings and then thinking about the ripple effect and the compulsion to put it out there in the murky and hazardous ether. I try to keep a cool head and civil tongue but maintain my own voice/identity so there’ll be some sarcasm and swearing on occasion. I try not to judge but that is really hard regarding some topics – thinking on that now, I am not even sure it should be called “judging” because we all know hate, greed, selfish and stupid exist and we can all recongnise it when we see it.

Anyway, I got to thinking during the night when I woke off and on about my posts about technology and discrimination and how we all get sucked into the world conversation and current affairs whether we want to or not, it seems. It’s so easy to get on a device, read (or maybe just glance at a heading and scan the content) and then react by clicking on keys and ‘saying’ something about how we feel or what we think; throw ourselves right into the mob. Some just blow off whatever comes to mind and others give some thought before posting and others, if they have an inside track such as experience or specific knowledge, add their comments to educate. There’s nothing wrong with voicing an opinion regardless of content or motive – we are all free to read or skip it if we don’t like it.

My comment on FB was on a post-article that I did not read (because I wasn’t interested) but FB directed me (via Facebook algorithms) to a comment by a “friend” and it was this comment to which I <reply> replied. I got to thinking about my own reaction in this whole process and how we all get involved. The ‘friend’s’ comment was general and I responded in kind but then I went on to write my blog post using this ‘friend’s’ comment much like a “prompt”: I took the question about refusing service to specific customers based on personal preferences and elaborated. What has bothered me about this process is that, unwittingly, I based my ‘argument’ on the presumption that the cake maker refused service to a couple out of bigotry even though I theorized throughout my post in generalities. I have no knowledge about this story other than the (over-simplified) headline which indicates discrimination and I try not to believe everything I read as if it’s all black and white. We all know there are nuances to everything.

I went back and read my post and made some spelling or clarification edits but otherwise it remains unchanged. I have mixed feelings sometimes about posting or keeping them up once I’ve given more thought to the post. I’m glad we can speak our peace, express ourselves and join in or, in some cases, instigate a conversation or argument. I think what I’d like to see are exchanges that are divergent and contrasting but with less vitriol, less assumptions. Conversations about differing opinions or experiences are very helpful in understanding a wider concept but not when it’s emotionally charged and accusatory.

Since I have not read about this cake fiasco and I probably won’t I’m going to play the Devil’s advocate here briefly and question why the baker refused the couple the cake. We can assume, as I did, that it’s because the couple is gay but what if it isn’t? What if the couple requested something particular, some decoration that the baker found in bad taste (when I think on this I am reminded of a cake that I’d seen of a vagina with a doll head coming out. Now…if I am a baker and a potential client asked me for this I am not sure I’d want this affiliated with my business – and you know photos will be taken and dispersed with the business name dragged along – IMHO – so what would I do? Fortunately I’m not in the predicament). Does this person have the right to refuse?

See how murky and nuanced this gets? My other thought is; why wouldn’t the couple just go somewhere else?

I know, I know. Read the article! I don’t want to – it’s one story in thousands of stories about rights and discrimination and I just don’t need to read it. This has merely been an exercise for me to imagine both sides and how complicated something seemingly simple can really be – and then we, the public, all get in the mix with our minimal accurate knowledge and personal experiences and emotional baggage and get outraged and blow it up into a national problem.

Ugh.

Daily Prompt: degree