there is no ‘middle’. take a stand.

Ann Kuster, D-NH and Chessy Prout, co-author of I Have The Right To: A High School Survivor…

I’ve written about how much I enjoy “author events” at my local bookstore and why. Today I went to listen to a young co-author for two reasons: I needed something to do, I usually love these events and I’d never read about this local story so I had very limited knowledge about what happened…in my own “backyard.”

I’m a little ashamed to admit that my knee-jerk reaction was yet another book about another victim of sexual assault, an instant new ‘celebrity’ and a career is made. Me? Cynical much? Nah. It was a very superficial thought both literally and figuratively because a simultaneous thought was that I didn’t know the story and I was interested in finding out more…since it was to be in person right down the road from me – why not? Thirdly, it goes without saying, fodder for my blog. Hey, I’ve said I have a boring life, I need to get a story where I can. 

It was a packed room as I knew it would be; I got there 1/2 hour before the ‘program’ started and there were already no seats left, the staff were unloading more chairs but without anywhere to put them where you could see the guest speakers. There were plenty of audience standing around the seated people, tucked in between bookcase aisles and behind columns and displays and the local police department were represented so I knew that the staff and speakers were prepared for possible disruption. All due to a young woman, still a teenager, speaking about her story in opposition to the nationwide public story that her attacker provided via “news” and media.

I’m not going to rehash the event, merely point out some things that caught my interest. First, I did not hear her story – not surprisingly, since there is a book for sale, despite the fact that usually authors do talk about the book, they just don’t reveal spoilers. This is a different kind of book though and I suspect, given the big, blue clue with a gun holster, that her side of the story might be considered inflammatory or ‘inciteful’ in a public place so she stuck to awareness issues, speaking out, the lack of support for victims and victim blaming, which is a lot and necessary.


I had wondered how poised anyone talking about their (recent) assault could be at such an event not to mention a teenager so I was prepared for some uncomfortable moments. I had not thought/known that a NH representative was going to be part of the ‘panel’ nor that the co-author, an investigative journalist, Jen Abelson, was going to be present (although that wasn’t surprising) and that these two women would not only be moral support for Chessy but that they had their own stories to tell.

Chessy did an excellent job of holding her own, being articulate and passionate but diplomatic about the whole issue of sexism, sexual assault and her own story. The only time she really had to try to control the emotion in her voice was when she spoke of her family (two sisters and her parents) being victimized by (social) media even while she was supposed to be ‘anonymous.’ How, not surprisingly in our hideous culture with the vulture-in-office, they received death threats, how they were told that she and her younger sister were going to find out what “real rape” is when they “finish the job”, how her sister’s name was Googled when she went to apply for a job, how her counselor was denied a job (later) because she was associated with this case and because she “is trouble,” how her family had to relocate, how family “friends” were no longer friends and on and on. Basically, we still vilify victims and their families and their supporters and sympathize with sexual predators…unbelievable.

I confess that I did not buy the book but I will read it sometime. I had questions that I did not ask in the forum because I am making the presumption that the answers will be in the book and if not, after reading I can seek the answers then. I hope I’ve relayed the above information accurately, to the best of my memory, and maybe some readers will be moved/interested in checking out Chessy’s story themselves.

In the end:

If we see something, say something.

If we remain silent, we are guilty of perpetuating a climate of ignorance and victimizing.

If you are a victim of assault, physical, sexual, verbal or in anyway threatened or discriminated against, speak up: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. It will not get better if we don’t change how we handle it.

If we don’t all do what we can, when we can, how we can for all people, women and men, we are doing our country and culture a disservice at this time when we are at a tipping point. Now is the time.


~ 6:00 p.m. Sun. 3/18/18


patience: it is a virtue


This word “patience” along with “normal” are both verging on extinction ~ is that what words are when we no longer use them? I’m not complaining, just noting how time moves along and things change, for good or bad. Instantaneous gratification is the new ‘normal’, we become impatient when our pages online don’t upload in a nanosecond – I know I do. I have to remind myself to be patient; patient online, patient in traffic, patient in lines at stores and especially patient expecting change when I hear “we’re working on it.”

Sometimes we have no choice but to endure the time between want and receive such as buying a home, for example. We know and expect things to proceed at a pace that is slower than we’d like because you can’t rush paperwork and legalities. Otherwise, we are  uptight and anxious and short-tempered when we have to “wait” for anything. Impatience an illness and drama is an addiction, they’re both killing us.

Daily Prompt: patience

a reminder to appreciate simplicity



It’s a beautiful day!

I’ve started this post several times. I really don’t like sounding too grateful, too jocund…but: I am so thankful for my boring life. There’s been many times — even now — when I feel like I am ‘missing out,’ when I feel like my life could be so much more if I only knew how to get from here to there. But driving home from work last night I realized on another whole level how very fortunate I am to have the bland, stress-free life that I live. Having had conversations with people, getting to know them, I was/am dumbfounded at the complicated lives of people who are (otherwise) intelligent, educated and, seemingly, “normal” {and let me just say right here, “normal” no longer has any real meaning but I still use it in relation to what used to be normal behavior/life and what exists now}. Domestic abuse, children with PTSD & are suicidal, young adults who take advantage of and manipulate their parent(s), couples who don’t respect each other and on and on. My head was swimming with ‘how did I manage to escape all the turmoil that other people are drowning in?’

Well, the answer is, avoidance. I’ve avoided getting involved in a relationship after my divorce, when my children were small, initially because I wasn’t ready but mostly because I’m intimately aware of pedophiles and abusers. Later, it was just more comfortable being my own person and taking care of my kids, my home, my job than it would have been introducing another person in my life. I avoided ‘friendships’ with people that seemed “sketchy” or lived lives that were the polar opposite of mine; i.e. “fun” = drinking, partying, etc. It’s a no-brainer that that leads to no-where good. I avoided getting too close to peers; the gossip that goes with any close relationships between co-works is not something I was willing to invite into my life. Basically, I have lived a life straddling safety and minimal risk.

So I’m not the most interesting person in the room, I don’t have a lot of experience with anything, I won’t be the memorable person anyone meets but I’m not suffering jail-bate, addicted, irresponsible, dependent adult children, I’m not in-debt and I suffer no addictions myself. I am a healthy, SINGLE-middle-aged, emotionally stable, financially independent, home-owner who has a small number of quality friends. I literally have no complaints nor needs. I do have some wants/wishes but I can live without them also. I can’t describe how simple and uncomplicated my life is and how much I thoroughly take comfort in that fact. The facebook photos and breathy descriptions of people’s vacations or experiences I’ve determined are merely ‘bait’ for other people who think they also are missing out on a better life. I’m hyper-aware when I encounter someone ‘bragging’ about something…laying a snare for envy and discontent. I just remind myself how genuinely good I have “it”.


#SoCS – green


Besides St. Patrick’s Day yesterday, I was at a loss for “green,” so I didn’t post. I still don’t have anything to say about green except that many people are desperately waiting for green grass, green leaves instead of the white stuff. I like grass and leaves too. But I’ll miss the white stuff.

Oh, and I came across this (mostly) green quilt top I forgot I had finished.

socs-badge-2017-18-e1503097084778 #SoC(Sunday): green

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “green.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!


snow, snow & more snow


Today I went out for a ‘walk’ with the kidz after my volunteer lunch duty at the kitchen. I was a little tired but I had’t been out since the snow fall and I enjoy the snow so much and summer is coming.


Work, although I appreciate having a job, has been extremely exhausting. It’s not only busy because I am learning the hospital physical layout, the routine, department policies, computer programs but also it has been so busy…the pager goes off non-stop. Because I am ‘seasoned’ (if I do say-so myself), I’ve just taken a ‘load’ and gone off to take care of business. In addition, I’ve had the snowstorms EVERY time I work. I’d rather be home for those so I can go out snowshoeing!!

This was the last one: I went out to clean off my car and the snow was up to my ass by the time I cleaned off what was on the roof/hood of the car. I drove home Tuesday night after work because I didn’t want to sleep over again this week ~ it was the worst driving I’ve done and I have never called out of work in 20 years because of a snow storm. I’ve driven through everything. I spun around on the highway and ended up front-end in a snowbank. Fortunately no one was anywhere around me and I just backed up and drove off.


But I love snow. I love going out after a storm (which I didn’t do because I went to visit a friend – all the while wishing I was out in the woods under those snow covered trees) and snowshoeing in the quiet, taking some photos and admiring the blue of the sky against the evergreens and the blanket of snow. I’ll miss winter.



my nominees, etc.

I was nominated for this award by Billy Mac at goodtobealivetoday and I appreciate his nod to me, not because I like awards or want (deserve) recognition but because “Superman” writes one of my favorite blogs and his friendship and ‘readership’ means a lot to me.


For those of you that don’t know, the Liebster Award seeks to highlight new/newer/newish bloggers. When you are nominated, you are summoned to:

1. Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you and display the award logo.

2. Answer 11 questions that the blogger gives you.

3. Nominate 5-11 blogs that you think are deserving of the award.

4. Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

5. Let the bloggers know of their nomination!

My blog nominees are:

Tom Being Tom


Sixty, Single and Surviving

This, that and the other

A lot from Lydia

Help from Heaven

These are just a few of the ‘people’ I like to read. I won’t say why, you check them out and see for yourself. Here are their questions, should they decide to participate:

  1. If you could be anywhere in the world, where would you like to be right now?
  2. What is your favorite hobby?
  3. Name one person you admire and why?
  4. What do you hope to accomplish, if anything, from blogging?
  5. Name one thing that you absolutely detest.
  6. What inspires you the most?
  7. If you could live at any time in history, when would it be and why?
  8. Name something on your bucket list.
  9. What do you think awaits us beyond death?
  10. Do you believe we, individually, have a life’s purpose?
  11. Name a “super-power” you’d like to have.

Here are the eleven questions that Billy Mac asked of his nominees:

1) Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging a while ago under a different name/blog. I scrapped that and started Karyn’s Domain when I was planning on backpacking the AT ~ intending to use the blog to write/record my experience. 

2) What do you like most about yourself?

What I’ve grown to appreciate most about myself is my independence; my ability to enjoy my own company, feeling comfortable traveling or going out to eat “for one”. I really don’t know any other person who can claim this. Maybe that sounds ‘lonely’ but it sure as hell beats missing out on some life experiences because “I don’t have anyone to do/go with…”.

3) What would you change about yourself?

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change anything about myself. There are things that I am working on and try to maintain as I age but I’ve realized long ago that we are all uniquely ourselves and we should really love who we are, as we are; flaws and all.

4) If you could sit on a park bench and talk with anyone for an hour, living or dead, who would you pick?

I think I’d choose someone in my family history that I never got to know such as my grandfather on either side. Or Jesus Christ.

5) Who would you pick to play you in your biopic?

Kathy Bates. I love her.

6) What is your favorite childhood memory?

I do not have a favorite childhood memory ~ they are all scary.

7) What one food would you pick if you were stuck on a desert island?

Chickens (male and female) for meat and eggs.

8) If you could, would you ask for a do-over for any period of your life?

If the ‘do-over’ means that it’s the same but ‘different’ because I’m doing it all over again? No.

9) What smell reminds you of your childhood?

I really don’t know. 

10) Who is your biggest influence?

Again, no big influence. I am still growing and learning and I pull from here and there as long as I respect the person and they have an inspirational ‘story’ to tell.

11) Does your family know about your blog?

I told my family about my blog when I initially started on the trail but since I didn’t use it for the trail ~ phone issues ~ and I didn’t continue on the trail, I think my blog is a very distant memory. I don’t talk about it and I believe they’ve forgotten it.

This is a lot of work and if any one I nominated would rather not participate, I understand.

To everyone else I ‘read’, I still love you!


the f*ck book


Mark Manson has a blog. I used to read it all the time and, now for the life of me I can’t remember the last time I read a post or where I was reading from (not WP). His blog is his “profession” ~ I’m saying that because I was enjoying reading some posts serially when up scrolls a “Hey You!”…and it went on to eventually say that he charges readers and, just like newspapers, I couldn’t read more because I’d been electronically blocked. It didn’t really matter to me, I laughed it off and tried to get around it but, nope, I couldn’t read any articles I clicked on. Eventually I started getting some, not many, posts via email. I’m not sure what all happened in there – how I got email posts but couldn’t read posts from the blog site – but I did enjoy reading ‘him’. I didn’t sign up to receive his blog because I was planning on backpacking the AT and I knew I wasn’t going to be doing any blog reading so I wasn’t going to spend the money. Anyhoo…I got an email stating that he was excited about his book that was soon to be published (as pictured above) and I knew it would be a ‘hit’ because his writing style is so appealing (maybe a little extra snarky for my tastes but I can overlook it for the rest of the content) and his ‘advice’, dare I say, common sense but it’s not so common anymore and thus the 21st century mass appeal.

My point is: I didn’t buy the book either because I knew I’d end up finding it somewhere since I expected it to be popular with the general audience. You can imagine my pleasure when my SIL opened his Amazon package and pulled out the book! Ha! I told him I’d enjoyed Mark’s blog and I’d be interested in reading the book after him. That was about a week or so ago…SIL hasn’t yet read it but placed it out for me to see and said that I could go ahead and read it if I wanted. Since I finished a book on Saturday and I’m nearing the end of my audio book, I went ahead and started the F*ck book. It’s already made me laugh and quote parts of it to SIL & daughter.

BTW: I posted this photo on FB and someone responded that they’d watched the TED talk. When I replied that I didn’t know there was one but ‘he’ has a blog they said, oh, just noticed it’s not the same person. The TED talk link was a woman and the title was similar so I’ll have to look into that ~ maybe it’s a woman’s perspective. 😛