What do you love most about yourself? What do you love most about your favorite person? Are the two connected?
Wow! That’s a loaded prompt. I’m not going to take the time to think on this, I’m just going to write as a stream of consciousness – with corrections.
I’ll take the first suggestion about what I love most about myself as it will be the most challenging. I’ve never thought about what I love about myself; I don’t even think about what I like about myself. We all think about what we don’t like about ourselves – we’re trained to find the flaws, not only in ourselves but in others too. So…to start my rambling…
I like my independent nature – it embodies creativity and stubbornness. I used to think it was a flaw, my ‘loner’ nature, but I’ve come to realize it’s a great strength that others sometimes admire but mostly are turned off by (I think being so independent of the need for other people makes other people feel irrelevant and, therefore, unimportant). Independence is very liberating – and enhancement of my life.
I read a blog post, I don’t remember who/where but it was about being single and how single people are actually, contrary to ‘popular’ opinion, happier or as happy as couples. Cultures tend to look at solo lifestyles as ‘lonely’, despairing cat-lady people. “Surveys” say that single people are not as healthy as couples. These are both falsehoods. Close connections or relationships are one facet of how people can be healthier but that is NOT the same thing as being part of a ‘partnership’; a few close friends or family members is all that is needed for soloists to remain happy and healthy and still be independent of a spouse or partner. I have no where near the number of complaints that my married/partnered friends have – not even close. I’ve mistaken that, in the past, as having a boring and uninteresting life but I’ve gotten wiser and realize that I like my life (we can all claim our lives ‘could be better’) and that’s in large part due to my independence.
Independence is a very strong character asset, if that makes any sense. Yes, a self-reliant person can be perceived as an outlier, especially if the person enjoys their freedom. I met a traveling nurse this summer, we went to an event together one day and we talked about our “independent woman” personalities. She said she had a boyfriend who balked (my word) at her independence because he felt he wasn’t needed in ther life so she had to explain to him how her life story necessitated her becoming so independent; when you can’t rely on other people to be there for you when you need them, you need to realize that you have to take care of yourself first. That becomes habit – and a good one – not because you don’t want or sometimes need other people but because you learn to not place expectations on others that may lead to disappointment or resentment. That’s a hard lesson to learn, really learn. That means that you can have people in your life who have value and meaning to you but you can navigate life without having to lean on someone else.
My free-style has allowed me to “dare” to hike the White Mountains and the Appalachian Trail solo, to take myself out to breakfast/lunch/dinner by myself (with a good book, of course) or the movie theatre, to travel to other parts of the U.S. or other countries – by myself. I earn and spend my money as I want. I don’t have to “pass it by” someone before I do anything or go anywhere. If I want someone’s input or opinion, I seek that of a friend or family member – who I trust, but resort to my own counsel in the end. I have determined what’s really a priority by whether or not it’s something I can do/get myself.
I love myself the way I am – I don’t even care what I look like (which is middle-age, menopausal plump wearing comfortable clothes and shoes 🙂 Sure, there are some things that I can and do ‘work on’ but mostly it’s about what makes me happy or satisfied with ME.
well, that wasn’t so bad
365 Days of Writing Prompts